Okay, today we're
looking at Qix (is it pronounceed Quix? Or maybe Kix?) a fun little
puzzle, or maybe action game, I don't know, it's genre is classified
as “Qix”, so take that as you will. The game was developed by by
Space Invaders fame Taito.
Okay, so before I
describe this game to you, everyone should go play this, just so you
can know what I'm actually talking about. Don't worry, I'm still
going to describe the game, but this game is so different from
anything that has come before or after it, it's best just to play it
for yourself so that you can actually see what I'm talking about. You
can play a fairly accurate flash version here.
Okay, did everyone
play this game? No, Just me? Alright, I'll try and explain it, but be
prepared to get confused.
In this game you
play as a small diamond who transverses outer edge of the screen.
Your goal is to “claim” at least 75% of the playing field. At the
start of the game, the entire playing field is a large empty
rectangle containing the Qix, a Windows 98 screens saver that makes
beautiful, graceful, delicate, smooth rage inducing sweeps across the
screen within the confines of the active playing field. You must
claim as much area of the screen as possible by drawing lines that
divide said playing field. Whenever you complete a closed shape, the
captured area (whichever side does not contain the Qix) becomes
solid. You must capture at least 75% of the playing field to move on
to the next level. If the Qix touches an incomplete line, you lose a
life. If you get touched by a “spark” which are small enemies
that transverse the outer edge of the active playing field you lose a
life. If you stop in the middle of making a line a “fuse” starts
to chase you up your incomplete line. If the fuse touches you, earn
1,000,000 points and are rewarded a crown for being the greatest
gamer of all time. No I'm kidding, you lose a life.
This game... Is
probably one of the most frustrating games I have played since Lunar
Lander. The sounds are kind of creepy, the graphics and colors are
functional, and easy on the eyes, but still very rudimentary, the Qix
would be cool looking if it wasn't out for my blood. The game is all
about strategy and waiting for just the right moment to try and make
your weird looking box thing but you can't take your time and plan
your strategy because you're constantly being hunted by the hotheads
from Super Mario World. Every time I try to divide the screen by any
significant amount, just as I'm a millimeter away from the edge to
complete the shape the Qix will immediately leave it's tiny little
corner it stayed for most of the game and shoot over to my beautiful
incomplete line as if I were doing some sort of geometric mating
dance. The Qix then laughed at me saying, “What, you didn't think
it would be that easy did you”. Effectively killing my dreams. This
game is frustrating, and unfair, and sadistic, and made me want to
throw my keyboard off a 30 story building and I can't stop playing
it.
Yes, for all the
flack I've given it, I can't deny that it is actually really
addicting and honestly a different experience from anything I've ever
played before. And in an age (80's) where 60% of the market is
flooded with Space Invaders clones. Anything different, no matter how
frustrating is refreshing. I'll even go as far as to call it fun as
long as you're a masochist, because while yes, the game is hard, and
irritating, finally imprisoning that stupid vector that humiliated
you so many times is very rewarding. The game is nearly impossible to
describe to anyone who has not played it, and I'm actually curious as
to how this was pitched to the producers back then,
“This game is
about drawing lines, you have to draw lines across the screen while
not getting hit by other lines before your line can be drawn.”
“Does it have
explosions?”
“When you die you
turn into little ripples across the screen”
“Does it take
place in Space?”
“It doesn't have
any setting”
“Does it have cute
chiptunes?”
“It has creepy
ultra low bass vibrations.”
“Is it about
killing aliens?”
“it's about math”
“Sounds like a
hit, put it into production immediately, I want this in arcades
before summer break starts.”
While it doesn't
sound like a classic on paper, and I can't recommend it for purchase,
I at feel that you should go play it if only because it's unlike
anything you've ever played before. And that's not something that
happens very often in the video game industry.
Oh, and this marks
the 25th game I've played from the list! Only 976 to go!
Up Next: Scramble